Setting the Stage...Part One

 I thought I should take some time to walk you through some of my personal history as it relates to the subjects addressed in this blog.  Since this is a road I've been walking already for nearly 12 years, and I have very little of it documented in print, I want to start at the beginning.

In 2006, Luke and I were married. The fact that he was in the military at the time brought a certain level of uncertainty to our immediate future (i.e. moves, deployments, jobs, supports), so we made the decision to wait to start a family.  I was 26 years old when we wed, and was already feeling the pressure of time in my heart.  Waiting for children after marriage was very difficult for me.

2007 marked the end of Luke's military service, and the beginning of a new freedom for the two of us.  Luke began pursuing what his professional future would become, we went on a long-awaited honeymoon, and we spent several months living in the town where we met enjoying the company of our close web of friends.

Luke was hired by the FAA in the spring of 2008, and we had purchased our first home by July in the far north corner of Fort Worth, Texas.  Our home was situated on the end of a quiet cul-de-sac, and we had lovely neighbors.  I could not wait to begin my journey as a homemaker, bringing children into the world and living the Sunday School life with them.

As we embarked on our years in Texas, Luke and I made the decision to give ourselves a bit of time to settle into our new life before rushing into babies, so I enrolled in a training program for Sign Language Interpreting at the local community college.  I loved every minute of my time there, but as the completion of my program neared, my heart started to ache for our family to expand.

I had formed this idea in my head that because I had waited so patiently and faithfully these last years, that when I was scheduled to graduate my program in 2010, I would be simultaneously and joyously blessed with a new bundle of love.  Surely the Lord has seen my waiting and long-suffering, and would return it with the fulfillment of the cry of my heart.

I spent the second year of my program attempting to get pregnant at the same time I was attending a busy load of classes, workshops, events, and engaging in a vibrant life with my husband.  It was a very busy time in our lives, and in the midst of it all my womb remained empty.  During this time, I sought the advice of a gynecologist who helped me discover an issue with my thyroid.  I started working with an endocrinologist, and was quickly pregnant under her care.

My own plan had been that I would be delivering a baby around the same time of my graduation ceremony, but this first pregnancy didn't come around until the end of my last semester in training - a very intense time of performance testing and training. No sooner did I discover that I was pregnant, than did it slip away.  My doctor's office treated me and my pregnancy like what was happening to my body was normal, expected, and that it didn't matter.  My interpreting trainer told me I had a test to pass and that there was not space or time for me to emotionally process what had just happened to my body if I wanted to successfully pass my finals and graduate.

I wouldn't see another positive pregnancy test for several months.  During that time, I passed and graduated my program, pursued work as an interpreter, traveled with Luke, and we endured a 12-day hospital stay for him following a diagnosis of Lyme disease, and I become a certified Sign Language Interpreter.

On December 20, 2010, I was celebrating my thirtieth birthday.  It was supposed to be an amazing day to celebrate my birthday, but instead my body chose that day to begin the process of saying goodbye to my second baby.

In early 2011, my body would experience the loss of two more souls, bringing my miscarriage total to 4.

I was despondent, and I felt completely and totally unseen by my Creator.  I couldn't seem to find a medical provider that seemed to see my situation as what it was to us - unacceptable.  It seemed to Luke and me that experiencing the loss of 4 babies consecutively must mean some sort of diagnosis was missed.  By loss #4, a new doctor suggested the remote possibility that using a daily injected blood thinner (Lovenox) might help my body preserve pregnancy, so we gave it a shot.

In May of 2011, I was sitting in the parking lot of Kroger talking on the phone with a close friend.  My period wasn't showing up like expected following a miscarriage the month prior, and I was feeling completely discouraged and tired of the process.  I had just peed on a stick in the Kroger bathroom, and had brought it out to my car to see the results.  

This was the first time in my life that I did not want that stick to show positive.  I was tired, discouraged, busy, and I thought the best thing would be to take a break.

It. Was. Positive.

I scrambled to make sure I was equipped with all the supportive measures I needed for this "surprise" pregnancy, including my newly prescribed Lovenox shots.  Our new doctor was very supportive, and we set on a path of watching the baby by sonogram often throughout the first trimester.

Six weeks turned into eight.....turned into ten.....turned into second trimester....at twenty weeks I was still pregnant and starting to purchase and register for all the things I'd need to properly care for and spoil a baby boy.  

Ian was born in 2012, and it was magical.

Hanne was born in 2013!

Isak was born in 2015!

These years were set apart.  Three babies in three years was hard work, but it was blessed.  I had amazing friends, found support in a the local birthing community, we managed to stumble through some difficulties with churches while keeping our heads up, and our babies were beautiful and perfect.

In 2016, Luke decided his career needed to move to the next step and with that came a relocation to Louisville, KY.  We hated leaving our village in Fort Worth, but quickly discovered the beauty of Louisville.  It felt like making new friendships there was effortless - the network of believers in that town is just remarkable.  I started homeschooling Ian, our family was feeling complete (Isak's first year of life had been challenging), and we were looking ahead to the future for our little family of 5.

In November 2016, Luke's training program at work became unstable....and I found out we were pregnant with baby #4! I cried for a month - we were supposed to be done.  Then I cried for another month when the DNA test revealed that this baby was ANOTHER BOY.

Between November and the following June, our life would take  a very unexpected, very difficult, shift and lead us to relocate again.  11 months after landing in Louisville, we found ourselves stumbling into our new home in Kansas City, MO.  The ensuing months included so much uncertainty, trips to find a house, the kids and I staying with my parents while Luke moved our stuff, transitioning prenatal care and homeschooling communities, and packing and unpacking.  Luke's grandma passed away the day he arrived in Kansas City, so our boxes were in complete disarray upon my arrival to our new home.

In July 2017 - one month after moving into our house in Kansas City - Elias was born.

Elias was such a sweet baby, and has brought blessing to every day that he's been here with us.  He lacks nothing for personality, and easily charms everyone he meets.  

 To be continued in another post....