Prophetic Full-Circles

For the last 4 years, we have immersed our family into the culture and fellowship of the International House of Prayer (IHOPKC).  We find ourselves in a critical hour in the history of this place, and I wanted to share some thoughts.

We have a different story than most people that attend IHOPKC, as we did not supplant our family from somewhere else in the world to move to Kansas City and live the IHOP dream.  

We kind of stumbled onto it.

When we moved to Kansas City in 2017, it was a rushed and difficult move.  We were just starting to feel at home in Louisville, KY and didn't honestly want to leave.  But Luke's job didn't work out, so we found ourselves needing to relocate in order for his employment to continue.  We felt that, while we did not want to move at all, Kansas City was a bit of a coincidental landing spot for us as we had some acquaintances living there and some friends from Louisville were able to set us up with some more contacts.

A month before we were to move to Kansas City, we traveled there for a weekend to find a place to live.  I was a million weeks pregnant with Elias already...so the criteria for our next home was rather specific.  We were so thankful to have a home selected, a church recommended, and a homeschool community waiting to receive us.  Luke was left to do 90% of the moving work, since I was so pregnant I could barely walk and we had three other tiny humans to keep alive.

As we began to make Kansas City our new home, we fell in love with a small community of believers that met close to our neighborhood and with the families that attended our homeschool co-op.  We learned quickly that in Kansas City, many roads lead back to IHOPKC.  The circles that we found ourselves in were full of people that all had some kind of experience with IHOPKC - and many who had been there in the past were less-than-willing to share their experience transparently.  That should have been a red flag...but we had a lot going on with life with 4 littles.

In 2019, our little church found itself in crisis mode.  While we tried to stay in the battle and fight for our the health, but in early 2020 we made the difficult decision to walk away from what felt like a dumpster fire.  We had started getting very involved with this church and had relationships with many of the leaders.  When crisis hit, we were given manipulative half-truths from members of the elder team that informed some of our decisions about how to handle the situation, that ultimately resulted in us losing relationship with people we loved.

During this same time, our family was in major crisis.  2019 was the year that began my string of 6 miscarriages, that devastated my physical and mental health.  Because we had friends from our homeschool community that were involved with IHOPKC, I had begun frequenting a moms prayer group that met weekly at the Global Prayer Room. When we found ourselves in need of a new place to worship, Forerunner Church felt like the natural choice.  Our family found peace and rest in a very stormy time in our lives, and my life started to feel like it had come to this prophetic full-circle.

A little context might help.

I attended university in La Crosse, Wisconsin.  For the entire time I was in school there, and for several years after I attended one church - First Evangelical Free Church.  Luke and I met there and got married there.  This is the church that I credit for my spiritual foundation.  Much of my theology was shaped there.  I watched older Believers model what it means to be the Body of Christ, I received discipleship, and I began to learn about the Holy Spirit.

My time in La Crosse spanned from 2000 to 2006, so at the same time that IHOPKC had begun operating 24/7 and holding One Thing Conferences.  La Crosse's spiritual community was touched by this, and many of my friends would travel to Kansas City to attend the conferences or the Prayer Room.  I even knew of friends that I graduated from college that had decided to move to Kansas City to make the prayer culture their lifestyle.  There was even an itinerant preacher from the Kansas City area that would come to the church and teach on the doctrines and practices that involved Holy Spirit.

While I had respect for people that did these things, I just didn't resonate with it.  I wasn't ready to take my faith that seriously.  I probably secretly considered such things to be a bit radical.

Over the course of our first 11 years of marriage, Luke and I moved several times and experienced fellowship in many different church bodies.  Some were filled with the Holy Spirit, and some denied that Holy Spirit is for today.  Our first church in Kansas City was filled with the Holy Spirit in a way I'd never experienced before.  Our pastors modeled a dependence on the Spirit that was life-changing and life-giving.  Their impact on my life is eternal.

So, in 2020, when we made the decision to immerse our family into the culture of prayer at IHOPKC, it felt like a prophetic full circle.  It felt like God had been pursuing me all these 20 years to allow myself to be filled with the Holy Spirit and join the prayer movement!

Fast forward to October 2023.

I just joined IHOPKC staff in July in order to the official assistant to the Life Initiatives department at IHOPKC.  My social life is mostly comprised of families immersed in the prayer movement.  Praying for Israel brought personal impact to my heart and life.  We have our rainbow baby, and my heart and body have begun to slowly heal from trauma.  I have established a trust in the Body with whom I worship.

And now this Body is in crisis.

My heart is so heavy.  I feel disappointment that my family again finds itself in a broken body, and I feel anguish for those around me that have been injured by this situation.

I know our story is just one of so many that felt lead on a path toward Kansas City that was anointed by the Lord.  So many of those stories have ended in pain for different reasons.  So many families have given so much of their lives in pursuit of this prayer-filled lifestyle.

There are so many questions to unravel in this great controversy.

Who did what?  Who has repented?  What does that look like in the public eye?  How should leadership respond?  Who are the real victims?  Where does the brainwashing begin and end?  What doctrines have I assimilated that I need to untangle?  Can my family safely continue in a culture that we felt was from the Lord now that abuse has been exposed?  How do I navigate relationships with people whose opinions are different from mine about this current situation?

How does the Body of Christ reach for unity when there is so much division?